Boundaries in Business: How to Say ‘No’ at Work
Boundaries in business are the secret ingredient to success that nobody talks about.
Why?
Because unless you’re working with a professional therapist, most people don’t really know what boundaries are, much less how to set and enforce them. Which sucks because boundaries are crucial to your success, not only as an entrepreneur but also just as a human navigating our ever-changing world.
Well, I’m about to blow your mind with some real talk about boundaries and how they truly can make everything better, including your business, relationships, mental health, and more.
But first, you’ve got to understand how boundaries work, what they AREN’T, and how to deal with the people and situations that violate them.
So buckle up because you’re in for some “oh, shit” moments if you haven’t yet addressed the need for boundaries in business.
What the Fuck Are Boundaries in Business?
The word “boundaries” gets tossed around a lot, but you might not know what it actually means.
So, what the fuck ARE boundaries?
When I say boundaries, I mean the line between what is right for you and what is not, what you have availability for and what you genuinely don’t, how you want to be treated and how you treat others. They may change depending on the person, time, or situation.
Setting boundaries in business is a crucial part of self-care and maintaining happy, healthy relationships, both at work and in your personal life. They show people your limits and how much you are willing to take from others.
YOU are the boss of your boundaries – only you get to decide what you will and will not tolerate and how you will address the people and situations that attempt to violate them.
It’s also important to know what boundaries are NOT.
They have nothing to do with controlling or changing OTHER people’s behavior. They are not “selfish” or “mean,” even though it can feel that way in the beginning if you have no practice with establishing boundaries.
They will not kill your career or limit opportunities; in fact, with proper boundaries, you’ll have more ideal clients and stronger business relationships.
Does all of this sound a little confusing?
I get it – that’s why it’s helpful to seek someone like me, a therapist in Portland, Oregon. A therapist can help you figure out where to start with boundaries, what yours are, how to communicate them, and more.
Sneaky Bastards (a.k.a. Common Boundary Violations)
Other people don’t know your boundaries until you tell them through words and actions.
There are a few types of boundary violations that I’ve seen over and over again. Those little monsters can pop up in your personal life too, but we’re here to talk business – see if you recognize any of these tricky work situations:
Personal Space Invaders (clients who want you to be immediately available to them, even 9pm meetings)
Time Vampires (meetings that never end and extra requests outside your expertise)
Emotional Leeches (clients who constantly dump their life on you, unrelated to your services)
Financial Barnacles (requests for special discounts to your fee structure)
Sound a little too familiar?
Then you, my friend, are in desperate need of some boundaries.
I promise, they are going to improve your business and make your life sooooo much less stressful.
Why You Suck at Setting Boundaries in Business (Hint: It’s Not Your Fault)
A lot of us suck at boundaries, especially when it comes to business, and it’s nothing to feel bad about. But you do have to change if you want to feel better at work, see your career flourish, and vastly improve your personal life.
There are a few common reasons why you have a tough time setting boundaries at work, including:
People-pleasing hangover from childhood
Fear of losing clients, opportunities, and (of course) money
Imposter syndrome shouting, “You don’t have what it takes to set rules, loser!”
Toxic gratitude shrieking to be happy you don’t have it worse
A good therapist can help you figure out the specifics of why you struggle to set boundaries if self-exploration doesn’t get you there.
Once you learn to recognize your thought patterns and behaviors, you can adjust them moving forward.
Remember: you ARE worthy of setting boundaries, you CAN do it, and you not only DESERVE to, but you HAVE to if you want to make it in the business world.
Boundaries Bootcamp: How to Grow a Backbone
There are a few things you can do to get started on figuring out your boundaries and putting them in place.
And don’t worry, none of this will be the usual “take a bath and meditate on it” type of self-help garbage that’s so common in the therapy world.
You need REAL exercises that ACTUALLY WORK, so let’s get to it:
Identify your non-negotiables: You can’t please everyone, and you’ll only drive yourself crazy trying. Sit your ass down and make a list of what you absolutely won’t compromise on. This doesn’t have to just be about work – include personal stuff too. Maybe it’s “No client calls after 5 PM” or “I don’t check email on weekends.” It can be whatever you want it to be.
Learn to say “no” without having a panic attack: Listen the fuck up for a second… Ok, that was harsh, but, like, seriously, pay attention to this one: “No” is a complete sentence! PERIOD. Don’t waste your time and energy coming up with explanations for why you’re protecting your time and energy. I’m going to teach you a magic phrase: “That doesn’t work for me.” It’s simple and effective, and it communicates your boundaries without apologies or leaving room for negotiation.
Practice the professional version of “fuck off”: It’s more than okay to shut down unreasonable requests, and you can do it with a smile. Here’s another magic phrase for you to memorize: “I appreciate you thinking of me, but that’s not something I’m taking on right now.” Professional, firm, and to the point. Make sure to stand your ground if they push back.
Create systems that do the dirty work for you: Let technology be the bad guy. Set up automated scheduling that only shows your available times. Use email auto-responders that set clear expectations about your response time. Hell, create a FAQ page for your business that answers common questions so you’re not repeating yourself like a broken record. The goal is to create a fortress of efficiency to ward off the energy vampires and keep you focused.
Put a price tag on your time: You may have to teach others (and maybe even yourself) to value your time. If you’re constantly getting nickel-and-dimed or asked for “quick favors,” it’s time for your clients to put their money where their mouths are. Create a “quick consult” rate or a “minimum engagement fee” to make people think twice before wasting your time. You’ll scare off the time-wasters (you don’t need them!) and make bank from the ones who still want your time.
Remember, setting boundaries isn’t “rude” or “mean,”.
And it’s about more than just saying “no.” – it’s about saying “yes” to your own success and sanity.
It might feel uncomfortable at the beginning, but trust me, your future self will thank you for growing a backbone and putting yourself (and your business) first.
How Boundaries Boost Your Business
At this point you might be wondering, “How does this all come together to support my career?”
Setting boundaries in business is like waving a magic wand over your life, transforming your relationships, work style, and free time.
When you put in the effort to start setting boundaries, you will get back:
More respect from clients (and yourself)
Higher quality clients who value your time and expertise
Increased productivity and creativity
Better work-life balance (remember that?)
Start Small: Just Say No
So what are you waiting for?
It’s time to put some boundaries in place.
Pick any of the exercises from this post and start building those healthy business boundaries.
And if you need a little help, that’s totally normal – high achievers like entrepreneurs often struggle with setting boundaries and maintaining the ones people challenge.
And if you need a little help, that’s what I’m here for.
I offer virtual therapy in Portland, Oregon.
Together, we’ll figure out what your boundary issues stem from, what your boundaries are, and how to communicate and continuously enforce them.
Prioritize it like your business and sanity depend on it – because they do.