Money Vigilance & Avoidance: Free Yourself from Endless Worry and Guilt
Look, I get it… talking about money is tough and, in many situations, even considered taboo.
But if your goal is to make money, how are you going to do that without talking… about… money?
Even if you’re not talking about it, you and your fellow entrepreneurs are always thinking about it… do you have enough, how you can get more, how much should you save vs. invest, avoiding guilt about having or spending it… there are too many ways that obsessing over finances can take over your life.
And, believe it or not, being TOO focused on money (at least in the wrong ways) can actually harm your business.
Whether you’re dealing with money vigilance or money avoidance, it’s holding you back.
So, what’s an entrepreneur to do?
I’m going to show you how to be fearless and guilt-free when it comes to money, and explain how changing your mindset helps your business thrive.
What Is Money Avoidance & Vigilance?
Now you might be wondering, what the fuck is money avoidance, and how the hell does it differ from money vigilance?
Money avoidance is basically burying your head in the sand when it comes to your finances.
Another bill comes in the mail? You toss it in the growing pile with the others or even straight into the trash (or recycling). You get an email alert about an overdraw on your bank account? You let it sit unread, do nothing about it, and treat yourself to a latte because you deserve it. You receive a huge advance on a project? You let it sit, untouched in your spend account, instead of paying off debt, investing it, or putting it in a high-interest savings account.
Money avoidance is about avoiding (duh) any negative emotions related to finances, and it usually ends up costing you more, both literally and figuratively.
Money vigilance, on the other hand, is essentially the opposite. It’s excessive worrying about money and having enough of it.
You hoard wealth and can even be downright stingy, although you could afford to treat yourself (and others) with plenty of wiggle room in your budget. You believe that money only comes through hard work and nobody should be given handouts. But, no matter how much wealth you store up, it’s never quite enough to relieve the anxious feelings you have surrounding your finances.
It makes sense that so many entrepreneurs struggle with these issues – after all, part of the appeal of entrepreneurship is making your own money.
Whether you’re ignoring the truth about your finances or hyperfocusing on them too much, money vigilance and avoidance can be equally destructive to your business – and your mental health.
Overcoming Money Vigilance & Avoidance: Exercises That Actually Help
So, how do you overcome money avoidance or stop being so vigilant with money? As a therapist in Oregon, Florida, and Colorado, I can tell you that even though the problems are very different, they tend to have the same root causes and cures.
Here are a few exercises that will help you shift your money mindset – and no, I’m not talking about another dumbass budgeting hack or mantra for abundance.
These are tasks you can start today and can make a difference right away.
So let’s do this!
1. Reflect & Reframe: I’m going to give you a journaling prompt… I know, I know – save the eyeroll for a second. This one actually has a purpose, and it’s probably one you haven’t tried before. Write about your earliest money memories and beliefs. What behaviors around money did your parents or guardians model for you? How did you feel about money growing up? Identifying where your money stories originated and how they shape your current mindset is a great way to start unlearning money vigilance and avoidance.
2. Cultivate Money Mindfulness: No, I’m not talking about filling up your Amazon cart and then letting it sit there for a few days so that you can make “mindful” purchases. I mean getting real with yourself about your spending habits and how they are tied to your emotions. I want you to track your spending – use your normal spending habits, don’t try to budget if you usually don’t – and pay attention to your emotional reactions. Whether it’s at the moment when you’re swiping your credit card or at the end of the week when you’re reviewing your bank statement, notice how you feel about money. Do you get a rush from spending, feel sick with guilt and worry, or just neutral? Does your bank statement make sense, or are there several items that take you by surprise? You may want to write down these reactions, even if it’s just a quick note in your phone. The point is to notice how your finances affect your feelings, and how money and emotions are so closely connected.
3. Schedule “My Money and Me” Time: Whether you’re money vigilant or avoidant, your financial mindset is off and you’re using your time ineffectively. You need to create a “money time” ritual to handle finances mindfully. Set aside a designated time each day, week, or month – whatever works best for you and your budget – to focus on finances. That includes paying bills, going over receipts, sending invoices, etc. Set a timer and only work on financial tasks during that established period. This will help you face financial issues if you’re avoiding them by making an appointment with yourself (loop in a friend or business partner for extra accountability), or limit your time to worry about finances if you’re money vigilant.
4.Set Boundaries With Clients (and Yourself): It’s time to start saying no to draining financial requests and obligations. Evaluate the projects you’re working on or the clients you have and determine whether they’re paying what your time is worth. If you’re avoidant, you might not be aware of exactly how much you’re making, and you might deserve more. Or, if you’re vigilant, you’re taking every request, no matter how ridiculous, because you’re afraid to lose any source of income. Cut the projects/clients that aren’t matching your rate, and practice saying no to time-wasters disguised as opportunities.
Ready to Overcome Money Vigilance or Avoidance?
I know dealing with issues surrounding money can be tough, but you’ve got to take control if you want to have a successful business and, frankly, a better fucking life.
As an entrepreneur, you need to overcome the mental or emotional blocks to becoming your best self and building the businesses of your dreams.
Freedom and fulfillment await on the other side of money vigilance or avoidance. Whether you’re too vigilant with money or dealing with money avoidance, having someone to talk to is a great first step.
If you need help with the exercises above or you’ve blown through them and want to go further, I’ve got you!
I provide telehealth counseling in Oregon, Colorado, and Florida.
Together, we can break down the barriers of money vigilance or avoidance and realize your true earning potential.