Why I Stopped Choosing Between Past Healing and Future Building (And Started Doing Both in Entrepreneur Therapy)
Here’s something nobody tells you about the different types of therapy for business owners: most therapists pick a lane and stick to it.
Solution-focused or trauma-focused; future-building or past-processing.
But I’ve learned after years of working with high-achieving entrepreneurs who are falling apart behind the scenes – you can’t bypass your nervous system, and you can’t think your way out of trauma responses.
So I stopped making my clients choose.
I’ve found that Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) are two modalities that work particularly well together in entrepreneur therapy.
My high-achieving clients want fast results, but you can only create genuine, long-lasting change by going deep.
Let me explain SFT and EMDR therapy, why the combination works, and how it’s helpful for business owners trying to get their shit together.
The Problem Most Entrepreneur Therapists Won’t Tell You
How can therapy for entrepreneurs help you move forward when you’re stuck constantly dealing with the past?
You keep revisiting childhood issues, former toxic relationships, and traumatizing memories – and maybe you’re making some progress processing those things, but it still doesn’t feel like you’ve got any forward momentum.
Here’s the thing – most solution-focused approaches fail because they’re building on shaky foundations.
If you haven’t dug into the old crap, it’s going to continue to weigh you down as you try to move forward. At the same time, pure trauma work can keep you stuck in processing mode, without ever taking steps forward. See the dilemma here?
High achievers especially get trapped in this “either/or” mentality.
But the dirty secret is: your nervous system will sabotage every goal-setting session if it’s still running old programming.
I’ve watched brilliant entrepreneurs create perfect business plans while their nervous system is screaming “DANGER” every time they try to execute.
No amount of vision boarding fixes a dysregulated system.
And no amount of past trauma work will help you move forward, and no solution-focused approach will help you get over the past – that’s why you need both.
The Integration Approach That Actually Works
The “either/or” thing, frankly, does not work.
I like to combine Solution-Focused Therapy with EMDR, so my high-achieving clients get the best of both worlds: recovery from past trauma and forward momentum in their current life (and business).
So, just how do SFT + EMDR therapy work together specifically? Let me explain:
- EMDR clears the somatic debris that keeps you stuck in old patterns
- Solution-focused work builds the neural pathways for new patterns
- It’s not about bypassing – it’s about clearing and building simultaneously
- This isn’t a “quick fix,” but it’s more efficient than doing one at a time
EMDR therapy is like clearing out the emotional junk drawer in your nervous system, while solution-focused work is like designing the organization system that keeps it clean.
You need both, or you’ll just keep shoving stuff back in the drawer.
You can’t speed up your healing timeline – but you can double up on therapy modalities to get the best outcome.
We’re going for efficiency and tangible results, not racing to the therapy finish line.
3 Practical Ways to Use This Approach (Even If You’re Not in Entrepreneur Therapy)
Ready to get started on the integration process?
Here are three practical exercises you can do that combine SFT and EMDR techniques.
It will give you a real sense of the type of work I do with my entrepreneur clients, and give you a starting point for your own healing.
These exercises also touch on what’s going on with your business, so not only will you tackle your personal stuff, but you’ll also start improving your work.
Exercise 1: The Somatic Check-In Before Setting Goals
- Before any planning session, do a 2-minute body scan
Close your eyes, get in a comfortable position, and take a mental scan of your body from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. Take your time, paying attention to how each part feels.
- Notice where you feel resistance or activation
Is there tightness in your chest? A lump in your throat? Pain in your joints?
- Ask: “What old story is my body telling me about this goal?”
If you’ve got butterflies in your stomach thinking about your goal, does it feel more like excitement or nervousness? If it’s fear, are you afraid of your own success, or of failure? Perhaps your joints lock up when thinking about your plans. Are you being too rigid and inflexible in your approach?
- Use this information to identify what might need processing
Your body holds crucial information – listen to it, and let it guide you toward what you need to work on in therapy for business owners.
Exercise 2: “Past-Present-Future” Integration
- Identify a current pattern that’s blocking you
For example, perhaps you’ve got a super-demanding client who makes you dread work. You’re afraid to check your email because you know it’s going to have another ridiculous request, or you’re scared to send them an invoice because you already know they’re going to pick it apart and have a problem with it.
- Notice the somatic signature of this pattern
How does interacting with this difficult client feel? Is there a heaviness in your body when you think about dealing with them? When have you felt this sensation before – maybe in communication with a sibling that you always had to prove yourself to?
- Ask: “When did I first learn this was necessary for survival?”
You’re bending over backward for this pain in the ass client, because you used to do (and maybe still do) the exact same thing with your sister. If you didn’t accommodate her, you would be “punished” with yelling, criticism, or withholding of affection, which made you feel insecure, worthless, and not good enough.
- Then ask: “What would I choose instead if I felt completely safe?”
How would you interact with this client if you weren’t afraid of their reaction, or losing their business, or what they might think? What kind of boundaries would you set, and how would that change your day-to-day life at work?
- Create one small action step toward the new choice
Try it out – set the boundary that comes to mind (such as creating an email signature that lists your availability, so clients know not to expect to hear from you outside of those hours). See how it feels to implement this practice, and what difference it makes moving forward.
Exercise 3: The Reality Check Reset
- When you notice yourself in fantasy planning mode (all future, no foundation)
From your biggest pie-in-the-sky ideas to your to-do checklist for the day, you find yourself ruminating on what’s yet to come – but you just can’t get started because there are so many steps that need to get done first, or you feel paralyzed with indecision, imposter syndrome, etc.
- Or stuck in processing mode (all past, no movement)
You’d like to move forward, but you’re stuck in the past – ruminating over past mistakes and failures, feeling hopeless and like there’s no way you can succeed, mired in your money troubles, etc.
- Ask: “What needs to be cleared AND what needs to be built?”
You can, and need, to do both – work on your past trauma so you can move forward. What are some small steps you can take to clear out the old, and what can you do to build something new?
Write down a list with two columns – one for clearing the old and one for building the new, with tangible, actionable steps in each. For example, clearing out the old could mean moving your credit card debt to a balance transfer card, so you’re no longer accumulating interest while you pay it off. And building the new could mean opening a separate savings account for your own business, with automatic deposits each month.
- Choose one action for each
You don’t have to do it all at once – just pick one thing from each list and get started.
The Long Game: Therapy for Entrepreneurs
I’ll be honest, this approach is no “quick fix” – but the thing is, it actually works.
And it’s certainly faster (and, more importantly, more effective) than trying each therapy modality separately.
Does EMDR work for long-term change? Absolutely, especially when combined with solution-focused approaches.
This work takes time because you’re literally rewiring decades of programming while building new neural pathways.
But here’s what I’ve seen: entrepreneurs who do this integration work don’t just hit their goals; they sustain them.
They don’t deal with professional burnout every 6 months.
They don’t sabotage their success when things get good.
They build businesses and lives that actually match their values instead of their trauma responses.
Stop waiting for the “perfect time” to deal with your stuff – there’s no such thing, and your business will keep reflecting your unresolved issues until you address them.
Every day you delay this work is another day your past gets to run your future, so why put it off any longer?