Pricing Like a Boss: How to Stop Underestimating Your Worth and Recognize Your True Value as a Woman
I’m gonna hit you with an uncomfortable truth about women in the workplace: statistically, women discount their rates by an average of 23% compared to men in the same field – and it’s not because we’re naturally generous.
It’s because we’ve been programmed to believe our comfort is worth less than everyone else’s.
How fucked up is that?
This imposter syndrome and lack of self-worth and confidence for women doesn’t just affect our paychecks – it creates burnout in the workplace and keeps us stuck in cycles of undervaluing ourselves.
So, how can we fight this learned tendency to devalue ourselves, so we can make the money we actually deserve?
Let’s talk about self-worth and confidence for women: why knowing your worth as a woman matters in business, the toxic myths surrounding it, and how to define your value as a woman in the workforce.
As a Washington therapist who specializes in business therapy, I’ll also give you some practical exercises that will help you know your worth (and no, I’m not talking about complimenting yourself in the mirror; I’m talking real numbers and dollar signs).
Because 77% just isn’t good enough – you deserve to be paid 100% for the work you do. PERIOD.
Why Knowing Your Worth as a Woman is the Make-or-Break Factor in Business Success
Knowing your worth as a woman isn’t just about boosting your self-confidence.
It’s about making the money you deserve for the work you do – and when you set your own rates, you’re telling your clients (and yourself) just how much your time and talent is worth.
This is exactly what I work on with my entrepreneur therapy clients.
Here’s why defining your worth as a woman is the key to success:
- The real cost of underpricing: It’s not just less money – it attracts nightmare clients who don’t value your expertise. You’ll find yourself working longer hours (leading to professional burnout) and putting up with a lot more bullshit if you don’t know your value.
- The psychological trap: When you undercharge, you unconsciously signal that your work isn’t premium. Imposter syndrome kicks in, making you question your abilities.
Sometimes, a steal of a deal isn’t your best bet – like, would you want to get a tattoo from the expensive artist with tons of training and experience, an impressive portfolio, and a roster of happy clients? Or the one who offers you a steep discount (potentially because they don’t have all those other things)?
The same is true for your services. Setting unreasonably low prices tells you and your clients that your work isn’t worth all that much.
- The ripple effect: It’s not just about you – undervaluing yourself makes other women think they should, too.
We’re inadvertently screwing each other over when we don’t know our worth. Setting standards for your clients and knowing you’re worth every penny you charge uplifts and empowers other women, so we all earn more – it’s a win-win.
The Toxic Myths We Tell Ourselves About Self-Worth and Confidence for Women (And Why They’re Keeping You Broke)
There are a few myths most high-performers believe, even subconsciously, about themselves and others. I’ve seen it time and time again in my entrepreneur therapy sessions – so many badass, successful women doubt and underestimate their worth, and it costs them serious money. Here are a few of the common beliefs we hold (even subconsciously) that keep us all down:
Myth 1: - “I should be grateful someone wants to pay me at all”
This is the scarcity mindset that kills profits and feeds imposter syndrome.
Think about it in terms of a close friend in a relationship – if she said “I should be grateful someone wants to date me at all,” what would you tell her? That she’s right, and she should settle for any random person who looks her way? NO! If you’re a good friend, you’d tell her to grow some self-esteem and look for a partner who lives up to her standards.
Don’t waste your time on shitty, underpaying clients just because you think you hardly deserve the work at all. By the way, this mindset often requires EMDR therapy to address the deep-rooted beliefs causing it.
Myth 2: - “Charging more makes me greedy/selfish”
Think of the most successful man you know – would he EVER say that, or tell anyone he’s mentoring to think that way?
Absolutely not. It’s not greedy or selfish to set prices that reflect the value of your work. This is a common issue I address with clients in therapy for business owners.
Myth 3: “I need more experience/credentials first”
There’s always going to be more to learn – and that’s a good thing! It’s great to continue developing your skills, and new advances can improve your business.
But waiting to hit some arbitrary goal to charge what you’re worth is a waste of time and money. And realistically, the goalposts will always be moving, so it can become an endless cycle of waiting until you feel “ready.”
Guess what? The time is NOW.
How to Define Your Value as a Woman in a World That Profits from Your Self-Doubt
Understanding the importance of self-worth for women in business requires a mindset shift. As a business therapist, I help clients reframe their value proposition:
Stop calculating worth based on hours: start thinking about transformation and outcomes
The hourly trap isn’t just about money; it’s about control. When you price by the hour, you’re telling your clients they can judge your worthiness minute by minute. Meanwhile, your male counterparts sell solutions, not time. They stroll into rooms talking about ROI while we apologize for taking up space.
Example: you only charge $100/hour for strategy that saves companies millions, because you “spent just three hours on it.” Those three hours represent decades of experience and intuitive leaps that can’t be replicated. Stop selling yourself short by only selling your time – start selling your brain.
The “male colleague test”: what would your male peer with identical experience charge?
What if you found out that your male counterpart was charging 60% more for the same service – with half your credentials? Guess what – it happens all the damn time. Don’t just match your male counterpart’s prices – add 20%. They price based on confidence, not competence, and you’ve probably been undervaluing your strategic thinking for years.
Factor in your invisible labor: emotional intelligence, relationship building, intuitive problem-solving
Fact: most deals close because of emotional intelligence, not technical brilliance. Your ability to read a room and navigate complex dynamics isn’t a bonus feature; it’s often the primary reason you get hired.
Obviously, changing your mindset is easier said than done. Which is why EMDR therapy and business therapy are such vital tools for any entrepreneur, and especially women.
The Self-Worth-to-Empowerment Pipeline: Why Confidence Compounds
Everyone talks about improving self-confidence, but something people don’t say enough about it is that it pays off – quite literally.
Having greater self-confidence and knowing your worth as a woman not only makes you more money, but it also generates a loop of continued improved self-confidence, and allows you to empower others – especially other women. Here’s why:
– The underpricing death spiral
When you take on cheap clients, it tends to create more problems. For example, you end up taking on a higher number of clients to earn what you could make from just one really good, high-paying client, so you’re working overtime for less money – a recipe for professional burnout. And with this client overload, you end up falling behind on work and feeling incompetent, which creates a vicious cycle of taking on even worse, lower-paying clients, and the cycle just continues. This is exactly the kind of pattern we work on breaking in therapy for business owners.
– The empowerment feedback loop
Part of being a “good” client isn’t just about how much they pay you; it’s about how they treat you. And, interestingly enough, changing premium prices attracts better clients who treat you like the expert you are. When you undercharge, that’s where clients set your value. They might interact with you differently depending on how you value your own skillset. The feedback you get informs how you work and how much you value yourself. EMDR therapy can help process and reframe negative client experiences that have impacted your self-worth.
– Real talk: you can’t empower other women while you’re financially struggling
If you’re struggling financially, you literally can’t afford to support other women by buying their products, spending money at their businesses, etc. Knowing your worth as a woman not only empowers you, but also the other women around you.
Practical Ways to Strengthen Self-Worth and Confidence for Women (Without Meditation Apps or Affirmations)
We’ve talked a lot about improving your self-worth – but how exactly do you do it?
There’s so much chatter about positive affirmations, meditating with crystals, blah blah blah. Don’t get me wrong, if you enjoy those things and they work for you, keep it up! But none of that really has immediate, tangible results, like the exercises I’m about to give you.
So if you really want to move the needle, try these – they are the same techniques I use in business therapy to help combat imposter syndrome and build lasting confidence:
Exercise 1: The Replacement Cost Audit
- List everything you do in your business
- Research what it would cost to hire someone else for each task
- Add 30% for your unique expertise and client relationships
- That’s your minimum baseline, not your goal
I bet you’ll be shocked by the number you get, and how it compares to what you’re currently charging. But this isn’t even about how you feel about yourself – these are cold, hard facts. This is how much the work you are doing realistically costs, based on market standards.
Exercise 2: The “Fuck You” Fund Calculator
- Calculate 6 months of expenses
- Divide by your current number of ideal clients
- That’s what you need to charge to have real power in client relationships
Having this fund is crucial for preventing burnout in the workplace – it gives you the freedom to fire bad clients and maintain healthy boundaries.
Exercise 3: The Peer Pricing Investigation
- Find 3 male colleagues or competitors (yes, they have to be male, even if you’re in a female-based line of work – find a reasonably comparable male counterpart for this exercise)
- Research their pricing through web searches, discovery calls, or mutual connections
- Use their rates as your starting point, not your ceiling
Us women have GOT to stop charging less than men for the same work. And if you’re feeling uncomfortable about setting your prices there, remember that this isn’t just for you – you’re doing this to empower other women, too.
Exercise 4: The Worth Statement Reframe
- Write: “I charge $X because I deliver Y results in Z timeframe”
- Replace time-based thinking with outcome-based confidence
- Practice saying this until it feels boring, not scary
Repeating this to yourself helps you retrain your brain to know and understand your value as a woman entrepreneur, and it also gives you a clear, simple go-to answer if clients question or challenge your pricing.
Your Pricing is Your Boundary: Invest In Yourself with Business Therapy
Here’s the hard truth: every time you undercharge, you’re teaching people how to treat not just you, but every woman who comes after you.
Your pricing isn’t just business strategy – it’s activism.
Remember the statistic I shared at the top of this post? Women discount their rates by an average of 23% compared to men in the same field.
Here’s my challenge for you: increase your rates by 25% for your next three clients. Pay attention to the quality difference – and shoot me a message sharing the results if you’d like!
And, if you’re ready to dive deeper into self-worth issues and how they impact your business, I’m here to help.
I’m an entrepreneur therapist in Portland, and I am licensed to provide online business therapy and EMDR therapy in Washington, Wisconsin, Colorado, Oregon, Arizona, and Florida.
Stop apologizing for your expertise and negotiating your own value.
Your bank account is a direct reflection of your self-respect, and every invoice you send is a statement about what you believe you deserve.
The world doesn’t need another woman playing small – it needs you showing up fully, charging what you’re worth, and paving the way for the next generation of badass female entrepreneurs.
Your worth isn’t up for debate.
Price accordingly.