Relationship Counseling for Individuals
The desire to connect with others may be the strongest need humans have, which is probably why relationships can be so fucking complicated.
Think about it…
From our first interactions with our primary caregivers, we begin to develop stories about who we are and who we should be, who other people are in reference to us, how we can (or cannot) get their love and attention, and how “valuable” we determine we are based on all that. As we continue to have more experiences, interacting with our environment and support systems, both healthy and unhealthy, we build on these stories even further. Sometimes it can be an empowering and kind add-on or modification, and sometimes it can be a restrictive and critical one. So we end up getting a Mad-Libs style guide to the world that can be confusing, hurtful, funny, weird, and downright illogical.
Then, when we begin to enter relationships outside of our caretakers and family-of-origin, we bring along this narrative about us and the world that has been crafted up to that point – and the other person in the relationship does the same with their completely unique narrative (that might even conflict with yours).
And it isn’t just romantic relationships that have to be navigated. Things are further complicated by the different roles we take on, as well as how those roles interrelate and how we define and/or value them, including relatives, friendships, business, community, acquaintances, and even within larger systems.
WHEW!
It is no wonder we experience conflict, strain, and confusion when relating to others and ourselves - I got a little exhausted just writing this.
The interesting thing about relationships, and maybe humans generally, is that effort, maintenance, and care are always necessary. Of course, the level of self-work each participant brings to a relationship can decrease the potential for distress, but even the people we view as “healthy” or “the best” still have hiccups that require support.
Humans make mistakes. We are emotional by nature. And we are constantly changing and growing at a different pace than those around us.
It is impossible to have perfection with so many variables – but it is possible to have fulfilling relationships with others if we are willing to put energy and intention towards ourselves.
The counseling support I offer around relationships is tailored towards individuals, not couples or poly pods.
It is best suited for people who are noticing some unhealthy patterns of relating.
It is not suited for people who are experiencing or perpetrating abusive behaviors. If you or someone you know is experiencing Intimate Partner Violence, Dating Abuse, or Domestic Violence, please visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline website. You will also find more resources of support at the bottom of this page. Please be conscious that these websites will show up in your internet history and “cookies”.
In focusing on your personal growth, and the changes within your power to make, you learn how to show up in relationships differently, communicate your needs and wants, and navigate the responses of those in relationships with you. When you start honoring your value and communicating that, you are able to experience more fulfilling and rich connections.
Below is a list of common relational issues I support individuals with, as well as a list of potential benefits that can be experienced through relationship counseling.
Common Relationship Issues
Stronger, Healthier Boundaries
Being More Open to Others (and Their Help)
Relationships that are Enriched, Connected and Respected
Breathing Easier
More Intentional Engagement in the Moment
Attracting The Right Things, Rather Than Anything
Clear, Assertive Communication
Stronger Sense of Resiliency
Increased Emotional Intelligence
Being Heard & Getting Needs Met
Feeling Unfulfilled or Isolated
Critical Inner Monologue
Constantly Questioning Yourself
Taking “Whatever You Can Get”
Minimizing Your Feelings
Lacking, or Indirect, Communication
Playing Roles That Aren’t Authentic or Genuine
Making Decisions Based on How Others MIGHT Feel
Over-Valuing What Others Think or Feel
Seeking Approval from Others
Benefits of Addressing Relationship Issues