Slaying the Boys’ Club: Advice for Women in Male-Dominated Industries
If you’ve ever been talked-over at a conference by a male colleague or another professional who follows a competitive-hierarchy mentality, then this one’s for you.
As a woman or person of color working in a (often white) male-dominated industry, you’ve probably dealt with your share of privileged bullshit…
…mansplaining, toxic rivalry, microaggressions, not being taken seriously, weird/creepy comments (or worse), and so much more!
Women and people of color have to work ten times harder to prove themselves in these spaces, only to receive half the praise and promotions (not to mention pay).
While it’s frustrating (to say the least!) that we have to take these extra steps, there are things folks can do to navigate industries where we are outnumbered by men.
So buckle up — I’m here to spill the tea on how to not just survive, but thrive in a testosterone-fueled environment.
Getting Real: The Challenges Women Face in Male-Dominated Industries
Let’s get right to it! Here are just a few examples of the unique challenges women and people of color face in (mostly white) male-dominated industries:
Mansplaining and its cousins: This is when a man condescendingly explains things to you like you were a child, even when you didn’t ask for an explanation, you already knew the information, or it’s your damn area of expertise. Don’t forget mansplaining’s jerk cousins, manterrupting and manspreading: when men talk over you and when they take up more physical space than necessary while you shrink yourself smaller (thanks, unhealthy gender stereotypes and socialized roles). It’s all incredibly infuriating, exhausting, unproductive, toxic, and far too fucking common.
“Prove it again” syndrome: You feel like you have to prove your worth, over and over and over again! This is a typical pattern of bias that understandably affects women and people of color: you’re constantly being underestimated and underappreciated, having unfairly high expectations placed on you, and even getting your ideas stolen with absolutely no credit.
Imposter syndrome on steroids: It’s relatively common for perfectionistic entrepreneurs to face some level of imposter syndrome – the feeling that you’re going to be found out as a “fraud” or that you don’t deserve your success. Add in being a woman or person of color in an industry dominated by male privilege, and that’s a recipe for imposter syndrome on steroids, making it even more challenging to overcome.
The tightrope of being “assertive” without being labeled a bitch: You send a few firmly-worded emails or give instructions without smiling. You’re completely professional and competent, but sometimes you just don’t always sugarcoat your requests or bookend them with unnecessary pleasantries. When a male does this, no one blinks. But you? You’re a woman of color working in a male-dominated industry full of privileges, so you get labeled “angry” or “bitch” unless you act like a helpless Disney princess.
The “gatekeeper” mentality: As if navigating a male-dominated industry isn’t tough enough, sometimes challenges come from another woman in power who’s bought into the toxic “boys’ club” mindset. Instead of lifting other women up, she tears them down, seeing colleagues as competition rather than allies. She undermines your work, questions your competence, and withholds opportunities—all to protect her own position. It’s a betrayal that stings even more because we expect solidarity, not sabotage, from someone who knows firsthand the struggles of being a woman in this space.
Sound familiar?
Unfortunately, this shit happens all the time, and whether we like it or not, it’s up to us allies to find our strength, set boundaries, and move toward success, all while doing the same work as (if not more than) our male counterparts.
Navigating the Minefield: Tips for Thriving in Male-Dominated Industries
Alright, let’s get down to business. I’m going to give you some advice for male-dominated industries. And none of the usual empty crap about “crushing the patriarchy” or “smashing the glass ceiling”. That’s good and all, but I’m talking real, tangible exercises that yield actual results.
So get ready, because here we go:
Develop a “fuck-it” filter: Being a woman or person of color in a male-dominated industry is exhausting, especially if you try to fight every single obstacle that comes up against you. You’ve got to pick and choose your battles, and learn to identify what’s worth fighting for. For example, if a client mansplains, suggests you smile more, etc., you don’t have to give him a free lecture on why his behavior is unacceptable, antiquated, offensive, and anti-feminist. It’s not your job to explain life to grown men, and you’ve got better things to do. You can choose to move on to other clients who will treat you with equality and respect. Of course, I’m not saying you should NEVER stand up to a man trying to keep you down – that can be gratifying and liberating, too, and heaven knows they often deserve it. But you shouldn’t feel like you HAVE to; you don’t need to shoulder that responsibility.
Build your wolfpack: LOL… OK, I rolled my eyes on that one, too. But seriously, call it whatever you want — a coven, a collective, an alliance –, you need a group of like-minded folks on your side. Finding your allies in male-dominated spaces is crucial to keeping your head screwed on straight. They can commiserate with you, exchange tips on dealing with fucked-up situations, have your back, and keep you focused on your goals. If men are going to stick together (and make it harder for others to break through), we’ve got to join forces, too. Focus on building genuine connections with others (especially women and non-binary folks). Having even one person in your life who knows exactly what you’re going through is a game-changer.
Master the art of the “graceful shutdown”: I know I said you’ve got to choose your battles and know when to walk away, but there are certainly times when it’s best to fight back, too. But you’ve got to keep it professional (lest you be labeled “hysterical”). Come up with some key phrases to use with mansplainers, manspreaders, and manterrupters. For example, when a man cuts you off during a meeting, feel free to interrupt him right back with, “ Todd, I’d appreciate the chance to finish what I was saying, but would love to hear from you when I’m done.” Combat manspreaders by taking up space BEFORE a man enters the elevator or sits down next to you – stand with your hands on your hips, use the armrests on your chair, stretch your legs out in front of you… Just. Spread. Out. These things may be uncomfortable at first, but with a little practice, I think you’ll find them very empowering (and even a little fun).
Weaponize your femininity: Yes, you read that correctly. We’re going to take the very thing that’s used against you and turn it into a fucking superpower. What are a few stereotypically “female” traits that you can use to your advantage? Listening, collaboration, and empathy are all qualities typically ascribed to women, and they’re also very useful tools in the workplace. For example, repeating back what a client said to you as a question to clarify shows active listening, that you’re taking in their words instead of planning your next sentence. Showing empathy when a client brings up a personal detail helps form a real emotional bond, deepening your connection and making them want to work with you more. You already have these tools in your toolbelt, it’s just a matter of using them shamelessly and resisting the urge to repress your “feminine” qualities in the workplace.
Flip the script on gender expectations: Pay attention to how gender roles come up at work and look for opportunities to question them, whether it’s out loud or just to yourself. Use gender-neutral language in your interactions (like addressing “everyone” instead of “ladies and gentleman,” or “you all” instead of “you guys”). Question the underlying assumptions behind assigning tasks or responsibilities based on gender and, when possible, assign women to typically “masculine” roles, and vice versa.
Shift Your Mindset: From Survivor to Conqueror
Now that you have some practical exercises you can use, I’m going to give you one more piece of advice for navigating male-dominated industries: your mindset.
Trust me, I get it – it’s so easy to get bogged down by the challenges of navigating a male-dominated field. It can be oppressive, like an uphill battle you’re fighting on your own. But that’s why it’s so important to reframe those challenges.
You have the chance to flex your assertiveness, use your “feminine” qualities as strengths, and contribute to making your industry better for all. And remember, you’re not alone – other women, nonbinary folks, and people of color working in privilege-dominated industries are dealing with the same shit (which is why it’s so important to build your “pack”, as I explained above).
Your unique perspective within a male-dominated space doesn’t have to hold you back – in fact, it can be your superpower. It’s what makes you stand out and gives you a competitive edge. Embrace it, use it to your advantage, and allow yourself to be empowered by it.
And if you’re still not feeling like a Bad Bitch in Business, then reach out to a professional like me, the therapist for entrepreneurs and high-performers. There’s no shame in seeking support — the bros in the boys’ club certainly don’t hesitate to take advantage of it.
Building a Battle Plan Together
As a woman, person of color, or nonbinary human in a male-dominated industry, I know you’re dealing with a lot of heavy shit daily.
And, while this post may have motivated or inspired you, all this information and advice can feel daunting, like you’ve been assigned yet ANOTHER task just because of your gender.
Give yourself space to process all of this.
Connect with your support system.
And, again, if you need a little help implementing any of these ideas or want more tips, give me a shout.
I can help you navigate the intersection of mental health and entrepreneurship.
Let’s create a plan to dominate your industry now!