Why Your Business Therapist Can’t Ignore Your Mom Issues
You came to business therapy to fix your entrepreneur anxiety, but we’re spending 20 minutes talking about why you can’t say no to your sister’s drama.
The truth is, while it may feel like your business problems and your personal issues are separate, they’re probably not.
And pretending they are is costing you money and peace of mind.
Look, I get it – you’re probably rolling your eyes and thinking, “What the hell does my family drama have to do with my quarterly revenue?”
Well, I’ll tell you: The dynamics in our personal lives often pop up in other places, as much as we’d like to keep everything neatly compartmentalized in their separate little boxes.
That imposter syndrome whispering, “You’re not qualified enough to raise your rates”? Yeah, that’s the same voice that told you that you weren’t good enough for your critical parent’s approval.
That’s why entrepreneur therapy is so valuable – it’s a unique service that combines mental health work with business coaching. It’s a holistic approach to improving your life, as opposed to picking apart each aspect.
Because, NEWSFLASH: you’re not a robot with different operating systems for each role in your life.
Let me explain more about why it’s so hard to separate business from personal life, why it might not be the best move to disconnect them, and how to move forward so you can be the Bad Bitch entrepreneur I know you can be.
The Main Problem: The Compartmentalization Myth
Most entrepreneurs think they can quarantine their personal baggage from their professional life. But that’s like trying to perform surgery while your house is on fire – technically possible, but you’re not operating at full capacity.
Here’s the deal: Your childhood people-pleasing patterns are the same ones making you undercharge clients. Your fear of disappointing mom is why you’re working 70-hour weeks instead of hiring help.
That perfectionism that made you the “good kid” with your middle school teachers? That same perfectionism makes you micromanage every damn detail instead of scaling your business.
See what I’m saying?
It’s all connected, but sometimes it takes an outsider (like an entrepreneur therapist) looking in to help you see it. Trust me, I’ve seen this pattern a thousand times – and I’m here to call you out with love and respect.
Why Personal Work IS Business Work: What Everyone Should Know
Here’s what most business coaches won’t tell you: They’re scared to go deep because it gets messy, and messy doesn’t sell as well as “10 Steps to Success.”
Your relationship with your demanding father is literally showing up in how you handle difficult clients.
The way you learned to get love and approval as a kid becomes your default business operating system.
When we dig into why you can’t set boundaries with your spouse, we’re actually debugging your client management system.
As an entrepreneur or a small business owner, I know you love efficiency – so think of entrepreneur therapy as a 2-for-1 deal, where we address business and personal life all at once. Because why the fuck would you want to pay for two separate fixes when the problem has the same root?
Personal Archaeology for Professional Profit: Therapy-for-Entrepreneurs in Action
Okay, now it’s time to get your hands dirty and dig into the real shit that’s holding you back.
Let’s start identifying where your personal problems are becoming a pattern in your business life.
Here are a few techniques I recommend in therapy for business owners that you can try on your own:
Exercise 1: The Mirror Mapping
List your top 3 business frustrations.
Next to each, write the earliest memory of feeling that same frustration in a relationship.
Notice the patterns (this will blow your mind and possibly piss you off – both are normal reactions).
For example: Maybe one of your biggest business frustrations is clients with no boundaries, who call at all hours of the day, flood your email inbox, and are extremely demanding of your time and energy.
When was the first time you felt the same way this client makes you feel? Did you have a parent, sibling, or friend who treated you the same way, always expecting you to go above and beyond and be constantly available to them? Or maybe there was indirect messaging that made you minimize yourself, your needs and wants, for the benefits of others.
Maybe this is still the dynamic in your current relationship with that person, or perhaps you see it repeating in your romantic partnerships now, too.
Ding ding ding! There’s your pattern – it’s truly eye-opening when you start to notice how these things play out over and over again, in multiple areas of your life.
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it, and that’s exactly where the real work begins.
Exercise 2: The Boundary Audit
Track for one week: When do you say yes but mean no?
Notice which roles it happens in (boss, home, partner, parent, friend, etc).
Spoiler alert: It’s likely more than one role, as the root issue is interconnected.
If you’re a people-pleaser at work, you’re probably a people-pleaser at home, too. It’s not like it’s a switch you can just flip off – it’s a part of your personality. When you start to work on yourself in one area, you’ll find that every part of your life changes for the better.
Exercise 3: The Energy Leak Detection
Identify one personal relationship that drains you.
Identify one professional situation that drains you the same way.
Practice the same boundary-setting language in both contexts (because your energy is currency, and you’re bleeding money).
For example: Perhaps you have a neighbor that always wants to stop and have a lengthy conversation when you’re walking your dog (like, really? At 6:00 a.m.? You’re barely awake, much less ready to chat.). You go out of your way to avoid encountering them, or feel like you have to put on a smile and engage in polite small talk first thing every day.
Sound familiar? That’s because you're doing the exact same shit at work. Maybe that relationship is reflected in a similar dynamic with an overly chatty client or colleague The one who is constantly asking to “pick your brain” over coffee, digs for details of your personal life, and just generally makes you feel like you’re in a social minefield at work.
Don’t get me wrong, some people love small talk and thrive on these types of interactions – but not everyone, and if you’re exhausted by the “pleasantries,” you’ve got to set some boundaries. And here’s the good news – once you practice saying no to the chatty neighbor, saying no to boundary-crossing clients becomes a hell of a lot easier. Headphones on when you walk your dog, even if nothing’s playing, and a quick polite wave to your neighbor. Interrupt your coworker who sucks up all your work time by saying, “I’m so sorry, but I’m on a tight deadline and I’ve really got to focus on this right now.”
Same energy, different context – and boom, you just upgraded your entire fucking life.
Online Business Therapy: Transformation for Personal Healing & Professional Power
So, what can you expect when you start looking at your personal problems and your business issues as one and the same, and work on them together?
Here’s where the magic happens:
When you stop accepting crumbs from your romantic partner, you suddenly stop accepting lowball offers from clients.
When you heal your need to be the family savior, you stop saying yes to every networking event.
Personal boundaries become professional boundaries.
Self-worth work in therapy becomes pricing confidence in business.
And suddenly, you’re not just running a business – you’re running a business that actually works WITH your life instead of consuming it.
The Integration Challenge: Your Assignment From an Entrepreneur Therapist
This week, pick one personal boundary you’ve been avoiding and one professional boundary you need.
Practice the same assertiveness skills in both areas.
I urge you not to half-ass this – commit to the discomfort because that’s where the growth lives.
Watch how cleaning up your personal life automatically improves your business game.
It’s not magic – it’s just you finally showing up as the same powerful person in every area of your life.
And if you need a little help, I’ve got you – I’m an entrepreneur therapist specializing in the intersection of business therapy and mental health work. I understand that successful entrepreneurs need both business strategy AND personal healing, because they’re the same damn thing.
I offer online business therapy and EMDR therapy in Washington, Wisconsin, Colorado, Oregon, Arizona, and Florida.
As a business therapist in Portland that entrepreneurs trust, I also work with clients across the US who are ready to tackle both their personal problems and their business challenges head-on.
Shoot me a message to see if we’re a good fit to work together.
Remember, the most successful entrepreneurs don’t just build businesses – they build better versions of themselves.
Stop treating your personal and professional lives like separate problems to solve.
They’re not – they’re one life to live, and it’s time to live it on your terms.