The Drive for Self-Actualization
Based on Abraham Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ Theory
Counseling and self-growth, in all of its forms, is done with the intention of bettering our experience, and in that, ourselves. Although not my main therapeutic lens, I include Maslow’s Theory of Needs in my specialties because it focuses on our personal growth and the strive towards being who we are wholly and authentically.
And isn’t that the ultimate and overall goal of counseling?
I believe so. At our core, we have an innate drive to self-actualize, or to become who we are in our fullest potential.
Since our first breath, the world has been molding us, often farther from who we truly are and closer towards what is deemed socially acceptable.
And who is doing all this deeming? Literally everyone you have come in contact with who felt their idea of life was best: parents, school, community, religions, friends, government, media… the list goes on, but you get it.
On top of that, as we grow into our individual, responsible selves, we are also thrown off the self-actualization path by the procurement of more “basic”, sometimes survival, needs. With our focus on safety and connection, it can be strenuous to find some time and energy for our greater sense of fulfillment.
Maslow believed that a human would emphasize focus on their biological requirements first (food, water, shelter, sleep, etc.), but that once the need was met, the human would begin longing for more. This includes Safety and Security (emotional and financial security, stability, health, etc.), Social Belonging (friendship, intimacy, affection, etc.), Esteem for Self and from Others (achievement, independence, status, etc.), and finally, Self-Actualization (personal growth, “peak experiences”, and self-fulfillment).
What is most interesting about this theory is the flexibility, even though the hierarchy pyramid looks pretty rigid. Maslow often asserted that the order of needs, except for physiological, may differ based on external circumstances and individual differences in value. Maslow also insisted that Self-Actualization, or one’s potential, is self-perceived and unique: one person may have a strong desire to become financially successful or express themselves artistically, while another may perceive their potential as being an ideal parent or athlete. There are no perfect human beings, and self-actualization doesn’t change that. It is a focus on one’s potential as defined by oneself.
Even within their own unique experience, Self-Actualized people share specific characteristics (listed below).
It is important to note that Self-Actualization isn’t some finish line where you no longer have challenges or a need to grow. Instead, Self-Actualization is a place of ultimate acceptance where you are truly confident in who you are, can adapt to insight from self-reflection, and can navigate whatever happens in life.
Of course, over time, Maslow’s theory has been challenged, questioned, and even modified by various groups of researchers. While all psychological theories have challenges, there is some relevance and usefulness to them all. Like the theory, relevance and usefulness are sometimes just as perception-based as they are science-backed.
Within Maslow’s Hierarchy, the support I offer focuses on Social Belonging, Esteem for Self, and Self-Actualization, as well as some aspects of Safety and Security. Some ways personal growth therapy can support you in Self-Actualizing includes teaching you to listen to your feelings rather than the old-unhelpful narratives in your head, identifying your defense mechanisms and building the courage to let them go, being direct and honest even if that makes you unpopular with the majority, working passionately, taking accountability, challenging you to try new things, and becoming safe enough to experience life in simple child-like ways again.
Experiences of Self-Actualization
Honoring & Respecting Social Conventions Without Conforming
Profound and Deeply Bonded Interpersonal Relationships
Ability to Embrace the Unknown and Ambiguous
Natural Inclination Towards Spontaneity
Actually Enjoying Real Self-Care
Continual Gratitude and Appreciation for Life’s Basic Goods
Prioritizing the Journey of Life, Rather Than Destinations
Ability to Efficiently Perceive Reality
Independently Autonomous and Reliant on Internal Experiences, Values, & Opinions
Unconsciously Giving Others Permission to Live a Fuller Life
Desire for Something More, A Sense of Purpose Greater Than Yourself
Greater Alignment With Values and Sense Of Purpose
Feeling Energized To Get Involved in Life Outside Your Career
Experiencing Spiritual-like Joy, Elation, and Deep Meaning
Feelings of Inner Peace and Contentment
Feeling Centered, Balanced, and “Together”
Feelings of Being Connected to All of the Universe and Humankind
Complete Self-Acceptance for Flaws in Self and Others
Comfortable Alone with the Self
Increased Self-Compassion & Ability to Laugh at One’s Self
To become Self-actualized, one is not required to display all Maslow-identified characteristics. Additionally, people who aren’t Self-Actualized may also display characteristics.